Well actually, my birthday was a few hours ago.
I turned 40. My husband travels for work, he is gone today. My boys are 7 & 11. No card, no song, no cake. One day after New Years, and I'm putting away the Christmas decoration by myself.
I try so hard, to make sure everyone feels important, in their moment. What if I don't ?
Several people around me are capricorns,practical people.
I watch them "post" in this electronic age. And I wonder, is it true? Did every one have a great day?
What makes one person marry someone, that everyone thinks the world of them! Gift from the in laws on birthdays!
I can't get a card from my kids or husband.
I feel so invisible.
What makes one person seem so loved, and special, cared for and by. And others so independently alone.
I have a friend that feels miserably guilty for not being happy in her marriage, while others are starving or dyeing. What is the common denominator between those of us that never get respect we desire, and those who do?
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Sacrafice and meadiation
Sometimes I find in all the hubbub of life , I find myself lost.
Why is it so easy for some of us to be codependent, to want to give so much up, of ourselves to all the other needs of the world around us.
Thank God I took a class! But even that seems to feel like, how dare I take time for me.
What might happen if I stop doing for others, even if I'm just doing laundry?
It is mandatory to give in to ourselves, we deserve it! And if we don't take a moment to say "this is important to me" one might loose their mind.
So this year, make a change, invest a little in yourself.
We deserve it!
Why is it so easy for some of us to be codependent, to want to give so much up, of ourselves to all the other needs of the world around us.
Thank God I took a class! But even that seems to feel like, how dare I take time for me.
What might happen if I stop doing for others, even if I'm just doing laundry?
It is mandatory to give in to ourselves, we deserve it! And if we don't take a moment to say "this is important to me" one might loose their mind.
So this year, make a change, invest a little in yourself.
We deserve it!
Brand New Year...
So long 2011! Looking forward to a brighter 2012.
Tomorrow I turn 40, just did not think I would be here. Heck Nostrodumas messed up my plans! 1999 was his first rerun of the "End of the World" no college for me ..why pay for that and die.
Now I'm 40... Don't believe all you hear.
Last night I took my family to the Baba center for the New Years Celebration
There celebration includes a square dance. It was fun, very crowded,and the young people try to change the callers directions in to a jitterbug ,swing mash pit.
Evolution?
I always knew I was never alone, but the face of religions offers many variation of the face of God.
I love visiting different churches, to see faith threw different eyes. Baba seems loving and inviting. I freaquint a charismatic church also, when I need to "soak" in the spirit, drums do that. Ignite speeks to me a lot.
So faith guides me. Or is it inner knowing, if we are made in Gods image, then God wishes to have us see him, within ourselves. And to trust in ourselves as we search to trust in him. We need not search for him so hard, for he lives within all of us. It is the truth in knowing ourselves, and positive light, love, and acts, that we live with in him and him within us.
Tomorrow I turn 40, just did not think I would be here. Heck Nostrodumas messed up my plans! 1999 was his first rerun of the "End of the World" no college for me ..why pay for that and die.
Now I'm 40... Don't believe all you hear.
Last night I took my family to the Baba center for the New Years Celebration
There celebration includes a square dance. It was fun, very crowded,and the young people try to change the callers directions in to a jitterbug ,swing mash pit.
Evolution?
I always knew I was never alone, but the face of religions offers many variation of the face of God.
I love visiting different churches, to see faith threw different eyes. Baba seems loving and inviting. I freaquint a charismatic church also, when I need to "soak" in the spirit, drums do that. Ignite speeks to me a lot.
So faith guides me. Or is it inner knowing, if we are made in Gods image, then God wishes to have us see him, within ourselves. And to trust in ourselves as we search to trust in him. We need not search for him so hard, for he lives within all of us. It is the truth in knowing ourselves, and positive light, love, and acts, that we live with in him and him within us.
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